Listen to my Stories...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 ♥ 7:03 PM
Chao Ta
Chao Ta meanin burnt/black...
early mornin...
Chao ta(dark) clouds...
Chao ta(abit tanned frm weekly swim) me went swimmin...
afternoon no more chao ta clouds...
a chao ta me becomes more chao ta...
lol...confusin??
went for a swim with li quan...
zhu was late...
an hour late...
dark clouds...
lifeless me...
quite windy...
dark clouds cleared soon...
chilly wind but scorched sun...
my tanned skin leveled up...
*relatives say i look nicer;slightly tanned*
*cool*
lunch at tamp mall...
bubble tea at mrt station...
zhu thinks the seller stealin glances at me...
just smiled back at the seller...
took my change...
quickly walked off...
*my bubble tea was chao ta colour too*
chocolate ice blend~
no pearls~
damn refreshin...
think both buddies notice me emo...
cos of dads new stunt...
not sure what they really think...
or how they feel about it...
prepared for the worst...
if he really sell the house
will buy back this apartment...
under mums and my name...
when mum bought the house...
was 70k
market price now...
at least 300k...zzz
my bank book will be chao ta then...
the sky now...turnin chao ta soon... *7.30pm*
my mind also goin to chao ta soon...
My heart turnin chao ta...
Dads cruelty VS My ruthness...
just wana protect mum and sis...
if they are safe and sound...
i dont mind reducin a few years of my lifespan...
Chao.Ta.Huat.ar
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Sunday, March 29, 2009 ♥ 10:19 PM
Villian
n i thot my nightmare was over...
its just the beginin...
it feels like death reignin over me...
confused...once more...
dad left us...a couple of weeks ago...
we were ready...
ready for new life...
new home without troubles...
but our readinss were for naught...
hes back...
sendin shivers down my spine as i type...
that dark stranger wants money...
intendin to sell my cosy home...
he will b back...soon...
i fear mum and sis be his punchin bag...
i am really at a lost...
my life damn dramatic...
much better than some lame Singapore films...
definitely an award winnin story...
unlike my friends life...
nice hardworkin dad...
and able to talk back without gettin slap...
when hes back...
mum wana divorce...asap...
and i am on mums side...
on the side of Justice...
the ally of the bullied...
he hasnt contribute to the family income for past 2 years...
hasnt came back and stayed for past 2 years...
yet now...
hes contributin to my fear...
i am at a lost...
in a dark dampy forest...
with the hungry werewolves...
ready to pound on me...
today was big aunt birthday...
was supposed to go Tamp Safra...
i missed it...
cos of me bein trapped in the forest...
dont wana brin them into this place...
spoilin thier mood...
and sis so wrong...
her emotion so full of errors...
she was in the mood for laughters...
enjoyin the korean dramas...
i was pissed with her...
her laughter isnt the type that could brighten up your day...
and this wasnt her 1st time...
its really disturbin...
especially in my unsound state of mind...
*i am not crazy,lol*
right now...
i am just like a piece of paper...
and dad tearin up the paper...
in halves...in halves...in halves again...
he never fail to try new stunts...
to stop him...
the only calm place i can think of...
for him will be jail...
and i wish/pray upon the dustin in your room...
i will brin him to Justice!
i will find evidence against his evil deeds...
Justice will prevail...eventually...
haha...
will i be a hero of Justice??
in my mums eye...
thanks mum...
for playin the role of mum n dad...
sorry mum...
couldnt do much to lessen yr burden...
i can only listen to your naggin...
if was asked to write a composition of dad...
the essay could easily score a distinction...
filled with my hatred and his unsightly misdeeds...
not forgettin my vocalnic anger against him...
the agony within me...
no1 knows...
Hero.of.Justice.in.My.World.
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Saturday, March 28, 2009 ♥ 12:40 AM
Sidetrack
bz with housework...
was cleanin the toilet when Li Quan called...
missed call...
mins later...saw n called back...
lost a job opportunity...
he found some1 else... *argh*
3 days work...$200...
zzz...
so head back wif hse work...
sweep the floor...
mop the floor...
fold clothes...
keep clothes...
clear up some cabinet...
sis didn help...
out somewhere havin fun...
wanted to practice the piano in the evenin..
DC called...
ask me out for dinner...
zzz...
reached home...
8pm...
tv...chn 55...
at the same time...
drew a new art...
just fin...
i m super proud of this drawin...
wootz...
will post it next mnth...
heres a preview of the completed piece...

Things.dont.always.goes.smoothly.
Things.will.go.smoothly.
Someday.someday.
On.a.sunny.Sunday.
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Thursday, March 26, 2009 ♥ 1:27 PM
The Violinist
i've done another artwork...wootz...
didn really have a table to draw on...
most of the time i drew on lap...n on chairs...
in bus...n coffeeshop...
started this drawin 3pm at home...
did till 6pm...
took a bus ride to bedok...
meet relatives for dinner...coffeeshop...
the only time i stop this drawin was when i walked or eat...
the sole purpose of this drawin...
was to thank some1...
if possible...
would like it to give her...

started wif drawin a girl~


colourin the dress~

thinkin what shld she hold~

decided,musica instrument~

Violin added~

continuin the dress~

frm dress to flame~
censored my hairy legs~

completed the left side~

the last area~

hope u like it~

close up view~
i could have done better...
this piece was done in a rush...
i dunno why...
lots of flaws~
Flawed.Victory.
Labels: Arts
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♥ 12:44 AM
Path Finder 2~
Followin the path of music...
musnt neglect my love life...
while helpin mum massage(as usual)...
nags abt me... *zzz*
"when would u find a gf??
hurry...u r not gettin younger...
i m old already..."
like i always say...
findin a gf is easy...
findin a sweet n nice 1...not so...
guess the phobia still there...
fear of losin some1 close...
memories of me n clara tgt for 2 yrs...
if we were still tgt...
mums naggin topic will definitely b different...
some part of me still blames Cal for bein the 3d party...
1st love...gone wif the wind...
taken away by a gd fren...
betrayed by his lust...
dad n mum...r/s problems as well...
makin me more insecure...
but thanks to them...
my path of love will be...
if...
if theres a gal whom caught my interest...
if only ar... *i m no gay*
*tryin to find my type of gal*
this is how i would woo her... *close yr eyes*
*n imagine*
after gettin to know her...
start wif outins...
sendin her home on time...
at least to her blk...
once she got home...
sms me if possible...
*cos askin some1 out, must make sure he/she reach home safely*
*be gentleman*
next few outins...start wif "old sch" love letters...
wif drawins...gifts...
gifts like necklace whistle...
upon givin her...
let her know the meanin of gifts...
the necklace whistle...
if shes ever sad/emo...
just blow the whistle...
n i be there...immediately...
a simple gift...
just make the thots meaninful...
by bein romantic n sweet...
then...
to be yr gal...
try magic tricks...
i went youtube n learned some...
but didn tried those...lol *no target ar*
card tricks...
3 poker cards...
whole process...revealin 2 cards...
*she will assume theres only 2 cards*
then, at the end...reveal the last card
with the msg of...
"will u be my gf??"
she wun expect that...suprises...
*sounds corny??*
all i know is bein sweet,sincere n romantic...
nth else...
dun make it complicated...
once the r/s stablize~
future plannin...
joint bank acc...
start savin monthly...
not neglectin the romantic dates/gifts...
n get a car,shared...
so far thats all i tot of...
so near yet so far~
when will i end my mums worry??
when will mum stop naggin??
arghh...i forgot grandma n aunties...
they nagged as well...
nag...
n nag....
cos i m the fav nephew...hehe
*wink*
P.S:
*n i still have romantic ideas hidden*
*if everythin shared wif u, my r/s wun b unique anymore*
*sorry*
Path.Finder.Love
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Wednesday, March 25, 2009 ♥ 9:53 PM
Path Finder~
Lifes plain n dull...feel like driftin nowhere...
all i see are stars...
n me floatin in vacuum darkness...reachin out to them...
untill last nite...
the brightest star flew across...
i reached out...unable to grab it...
but...
i know...
i found life...
found a path i wan to walk on...
the path of music...
though unable to reach the star now...
full of obstacles...
i believe i will grab that musical star someday...
i always wanted to learn Piano...Guitar...Harmonica...
bought a keyboard last yr...
but unsure where to start...
Thanks to her...
i know what i shld do...
i know what i wan to do...
n what i need to do...
I was surfin ard frenster...
saw her profile...
linked to her webby...
everythin was artistic...
her own song...
her sweet voice...
her web page...
Thanks to her...
i wana conquer Piano...Guitar...
maybe the world...lol
Thanks to her...
i shldnt give up easily...
had been givin up piano
whenever in doubts...
all i need now is take a deep breath...
take a step forward...
n firmly walk on this path
which i have been fallin frequently...
i know its not easy...
i know...
she will be my example....
role model...
my goal...
Sincere thanks to her for "pushin" me forward...
*i did not say i m in love*
*Showin my graditude*
hmm...
alternative way of sayin it...
theres a big stone/rock/pebble in front of u...
the strong u kicked it away...
but u din know it help the weak stranger,me...
the strong u kicked it away...for fun...
created a path for the weak me...
who wasnt able to walk this road...
always had to make a detour...
Thank you, girl...
Thank you, Chloe...
Sincere thanks~
Path.Finder.Music.Thanks.
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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 ♥ 6:34 PM
Seal removed~
last nite...or u can say its mornin...its too dark outside to define the time...
anyway...a secretive fren told me to read his secretive blog...full of secrets...lol
didn know his eng was this gd...strong descriptive words...
somehow triggered some sec sch days memories...
my eng used to be somewhere ard his standard...hmm...definitely not lower than his...much better than his...lol...maybe equal to his level of eng(incase hes readin this)
i do not know when or why my eng standards dropped so drastically...
could the breakup with Clara 4yrs ago sealed my "strong use of words"??
have not really been writin long essays or love letter since...
i need to buck up...read more...improve...
climb back to the heights of scorin Ace in eng...
no more simple n clean words...
Thanks xxx for sharin yr blog wif me...
Words.of.Hostility
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♥ 1:50 AM
Seeing all sides of people may be a rude awakening from a dream state...
but you have to wake up some time...
Labels: quotes
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Monday, March 23, 2009 ♥ 7:26 PM
Kon~
finally decided on this background
kon...gazin moon...
the original wallpaper was plain...
so surfed the net for a shakespears quote...
pls ignore the ugly pixel

original wallpaper~
remove the top rite box

nice but plain~
usin microsoft paint...
wrote in the quote....
with Pristine fonts...
"My words fly up
My thoughts remain below
Words without thoughts never to heaven go"

quote added~
the quote...
suits the wallpaper...
cos kon is pointin to the sky...
haha...
but not emo here...
just find that the quote links wif the wallpaper...
n...
choosin a darker background
let yr eyes read more comfy...
pls give comments on how to improve...
wif regards to the background...lol
thanks~
P.S:kon is a yellow soft toy bear frm the anime bleach
Labels: Arts
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♥ 3:33 PM
New layout~
tryin out new layout...
hard to find a suitable background...
nth really caught my attention...
wantin to find some wallpaper to suit my style...
suit my drawins...
n i love moon...
so hopin to find a similar wallpaper like the one i m usin now...
btw...just painted the whole hse...
PINK...
looks brighter...
not too bad...
suits my room...but not my personality...zzz
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♥ 1:16 AM
Happy bday~
Last sat...21st...
was Clara bday...
didn wish her...
incase the bf not happy...
just hope shes doin fine...
n happy belated bday~
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Monday, March 16, 2009 ♥ 7:47 PM
Roti Prata
last Sat went I.T fair...
wif david n his ite frens...
hock bought cd player...
super stylo...
$259...
free sub-woffer...
too heavy...he cant carry home alone...
no choice...as his cousin...help him carry home lor...
he stay west...i stay east...
so stayed over his hse for a nite...
7pm++ reached cck...
setup the player...test it out...
9pm...the family watched soccer...i surf net...
11pm...supper...
thats the best part...
roti prata...bukit gombat...
hocks elder bro drove us there...
small coffeeshop...
seats all filled up...
hardly can find seats...
b4 orderin food...the smell...heavenly...
the food nice...
cheap too...
crunchy prata...
curry...damn nice...
the bowl of curry...
they give like no need $$ de...
fin the food...curry still got half bowl left...
not forgettin the tea tarik...
thick n sweet...
aromatic...perfect nite...
went back...
watch movies on net...4am++ slp...
roti prata smell still ard...lol
Sun...2pm++ take train home...
psp no batt...sian lor...
drizzlin at simei...bought Mr bean for sis...
still unable to forget the prata...haha
next time go there eat again...yum yum...
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Saturday, March 14, 2009 ♥ 2:33 AM
i-John
Another art piece done by me...
usin microsoft paint...
i've seen lots of ipod advertisement...

i-Kon i-Rukia

i-Ishida i-Kenshin
Therefore...decided to make 1

i-John~
usin the mouse to draw is really hard...
spent abt 3,4 hrs to complete it...

larger view
Labels: Arts
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Thursday, March 12, 2009 ♥ 10:35 PM
Forum sig
another art piece...
different approach...
this time...usin the com...microsoft paint...
a forums signature...
sometimes surf forums...seen all kind of sig...
decided to make 1...
but...for fun only...
what i did was find 6 pictures...
in my case...
screenshot some maple story pics...
cut the char out

1st 2 char was done~
cut the 3rd image~

paste the 3rd image the way i wan~

similarly,cut the 4th pic...align it nicely~

cuttin out 5th pic~

cuttin no.6~
then paste them nicely tgt

the completed signature~
the pixel not so gd...
for clearer pics...
pls refer to my frenster pics(album: john arts)
Labels: Arts
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♥ 4:41 PM
Sympathy for bbq meat
sunburned~
forgot to brin sunblock....
lol~
understand the feelins of baberque meat...
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Wednesday, March 11, 2009 ♥ 7:18 PM
slowly...
beginnin to accept reality...
Dad's betrayal...
no more car...sian ar~
lol...
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♥ 6:48 PM
Evil or Saints??
a story i found and modify...
a doctor...
he had some kind of power...
a power to switch things by his hands...
he saved lots of people with his ability...
a young gal wif a hole in her heart...
so the doctor got another person
& "transplant" their hearts with the touch of his hands...
the doc did organs transplant for his patients...secretly...
the doc had a best fren...called smile...
Smile was also a doc...his nickname...smile...cos he simply loves to smile...
the doc n smile always had to do major operations...
sometimes success...sometimes fail...
when they fail...they would use docs ability to save the patient...
Smile would always lookout for "society scums"...
n when they failed an operation...
the doc n smile would transplant the patients organs wif the scums organ...
thus savin the patients life...n killin the scums...
3 years after their routines....
savin countless of lives...killin scums...
the police grew suspicious of smile n doc...
if u r the police...
what would u do??
some ppl think they r evil...some may think they r saints...
they removed society scums n saved innocent ppl...
all they did was take matters in their own hands...
so whats yr view??
Labels: Evil or Saints
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Tuesday, March 3, 2009 ♥ 3:35 AM
Cant really think of a title...
feelin lost...
such a long time since i post an entry...
lots of things to say...
an unfix big jigsaw puzzle in my mind now...
bz with final presentation...
project preparation...
final report...
kinda fustrated...
family prbms...
past week...rain...eye twitchin...
whether in train...bus or my room...
will look up into the sky...
hopin the rain end soon...
the rain goes wif my mood...
feelin dwn...
emptiness...
never had gd r/s wif dad...
whatever he did...i never meddled in his affairs...
illegally/legal...
still tryin to digest the latest *stunt* (cant think of a better word)
dad left...
left us...
leavin behind 18k debts...
went phillipines...
with a girl...
3mnths pregnant...
really lost...
2nd time in my life that when i stood up...
the head is spinnin...
cant seem to stand properly...
lots of flashbacks in the mind...
mind really blank now...
the vision blurred...
i was the last person in the family to see him...
was slpin ard 9,10am...thurs...
dad come back(he moved out some time ago)
half awake...he told me...
anythin can email him...he will check his mail daily...
then he left...i said gd bye b4 he leaves the hse...
n that was my last gd bye...
n the gd bye that u didn know he wun return anymore...
there isnt any proper gd bye...
these feelins really cant be felt unless its happenin on u...
lots of weird feelins...
the gd bye...
my eyes were still closed...
didn see him leave...n just shout bye bye...
hearin the door close...
n suddenly becomes a brother...yet the mum is not my mum...
my mum is in her bedroom now....
not sure is she aslp??
or like me...tryin to digest everythin...
n worse...mum still dont know the girl is pregnant...
as young adults...i shld b handlin such situation well...
but i m not prepared...really not prepared...
thinkin more matured than sis...yet mind blank now...
while sis snorin away in her room...
i m soft...really wan to let out...
to cry or somethin...
it feels like theres somethin in me...
very uncomfortable...
those weird feelins...
the blank mind...
i m calm....but my mind isnt...
what shld i do now??
tried distractin myself...not helpin...
went swimmin to relax...
initiatlly helps...
lookin at spoiled brats shoppin...
jealous/envious yet pissed...
every week buy...buy...buy...
n they complained no space for clothins...
n their world only revolves ard them...
while ppl like me...
still need to think of grandma...docs appointment...
uncle havin "stones" in his tummy...
send them for checkup...
runnin errants...
what can i do now??
debts...sch fees...bills...
i m tired...but cant seem to slp...
this feelin is exactly the same when Clara broke up with me...
what must i do??
be braver than mum n sis...
even though dad chose this path...
i may be disappointed...lost...
all i can do is respect his decision...
afterall hes my dad...
where are you? Father
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